January-March - Asking repetitively if we have ants yet. Nope.
March - Send off for ants. $6.95 Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Sigh.
March-June - "Are my ants here yet?"
June - Ants arrive. They are HUGE. Container is sealed and states that these ants will bite. Paralyze in refrigerator for 15 minutes before adding to farm. Sigh. Check.
50% of ants die. Other half still kicking.
July 1 - Screams from upstairs. Ant farm has been knocked over...into a partially opened pajama drawer. I grab the pajamas and shake them out on the front porch, while CT smashes the rest with his shoe (Remember, we were warned that they will bite). Screams of agony from Jackson.
July 15 (That's today.) 9:00- New plan. We're going to catch our own ants. Jackson and I attempt to use tweezers to capture ants in the driveway. We fail. We're squeezing them to death, and they're too darn fast.
9:15 We set a trap. We go with strawberries and Apple Jacks. Fool proof.
9:20 No ants yet. Jackson thinks it's because they know we're watching them and makes a plan to convince them that we are not. "Mom, I think I'll go inside now. Wait. Did I leave a plate of food outside? Nope. Guess not. Must have been my imagination." Smiles sneakily and heads inside.
10:00 Ant city! A bazillion on the Apple Jacks (None on the strawberry, FYI). We dump the Apple Jacks into the farm and success!
10:30 Ants are everywhere! We're thinking that they are so little that they can fit through the cracks of the lid. (Probably why Uncle Milton sent us such huge ants in the first place.) Lid sealed with scotch tape.
12:00 They are still escaping! Locate some air holes in the sides. Yep, they can fit though. Tape over those too.
2:30 Ants aren't looking too good. Probably because they aren't getting air. Sigh.
Moral: Don't buy your kid an ant farm.